Some people believe that acceptance means being passive to injustices or situations that are unfair. For years, I held this belief. It doesn’t mean that. Instead, it means accepting the situation as it is in this moment, while working in a positive and loving way to make it better. Oftentimes when we try to right a wrong or improve things, our mind or ego leads the charge which can result in obsessive thinking, ruminating, complaining, judging, and withholding love and kindness. This is what we mean when we say “the fight within yourself”. This behavior, often unconscious, creates suffering for you and others. While this is certainly one way to interact with the situation, there is a different way. The latter involves consciously choosing to be grateful, loving, and kind as you intelligently work to make situations better. And if there is no action that can be taken, practice acceptance here too. When acceptance is practiced it brings peace.
acceptance
We often change try to change people. This was certainly true for Keith. For many years, he was constantly trying to improve people. This was a classic case of the ego at work. Despite good intentions, trying change people is a recipe for suffering. To be clear, this is different from wanting the best for people. Trying to change them often involves acting to improve them without their consent or partnership. This behavior has adversely affected Keith and Rick personally and in their relationships with others. Listen as they share that the key to changing people is with them. Understanding this, Rick and Keith choose to accept people just as they are, while trying to stay on their own path of being kind, peaceful, and loving.
In this episode, Rick and Keith share how to be peaceful in your relationships. Close connections can be rewarding and also challenging; especially to the ego. They also provide opportunities for growth. As we’ve shared before, the ego is not a fan of this kind of growth. As you continue of the path of being present, kind, and serving, the ego will resist creating internal suffering for you. Rick and Keith discuss how to experience the growth process in a peaceful way.
Consider Daily Journaling
“An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with a person’s main task in life — becoming a better person.” — Leo Tolstoy.
To become a better person, more relaxed and in control, reflective, self-monitoring and more compassionate of others, consider journaling. This simple daily habit will likely make you more aware and conscious, as well as a more accurate witness to the reality that is your life.
Brain scientists suggests that the average lifespan of an emotion to move through the nervous system is one and a half minutes. This releases the burden of clinging to our emotional attachments longer than required. Daily journaling helps us make peace with toxic emotions and transform them into healthy ones. Otherwise, they remain ‘stuck’ in our nervous system instead of moving through us. The simple act of writing in our journal on a daily basis helps us to be mindful of the present moment, instead of being caught up in the past or future.
Mindfulness is the way to attain clarity as to what really matters. We become attuned to our emotions instead of allowing them to control us. Eckhart Tolle says that anytime we are emotionally agitated for no reason, we are recollecting unresolved memories and creating a Pain body experience. Journaling brings clarity and resolution.
In this episode, Rick and Keith talk about undesirable outcomes and the ego’s role in trying to make you feel blame and guilt based on an outcome. Along with shame, we think these are useless emotions (see episode 15). They don’t change the outcome, but rather cause suffering. Rick and Keith share a few possible ways to deal with undesirable outcomes.
Guest Jen Drost joins Keith to chat about their mental health journey and what they do to stay healthy and resilient. Mental health is serious. If you are struggling, please seek the support and care of a licensed mental healthcare professional.
In this installment, Rick and Keith define a phrase they often talk about in the podcasts – “the practice”. Here they define “the practice” and share about its importance in their lives.
“Every Day Spiritual Practice: Simple Pathways for Enriching Your Life,” Alexander. Here nearly 40 contributors discuss what they do daily to be centered and happy. Creating a home altar, practicing martial arts, mediation, volunteering, fasting, quilting — these are just some of the ways they’ve found to make every day more meaningful and satisfying.
“You Are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment,” Thich Naht Hanh. This moment is the gateway to enlightenment. It is the only moment we have to be joyful, mindful, and awake. The key is to be there for yourself—to learn to be fully present in your life. In this introduction to the practice of presence, he provides insight on life’s essentials and offers a range of simple, everyday practices for cultivating mindfulness.
“Holding Space: A Guide to Supporting Others While Remembering to Take Care of Yourself First,” Hope. This book helps us learn how to honor our own needs and boundaries first, so that we can be of even greater service to ourself and the world around us as we hold space either personally, or professionally.
“Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds,” Goggins. For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare – poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a U.S. Armed Forces icon and one of the world’s top endurance athletes. The only man in history to complete elite training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller, he went on to set records in numerous endurance events, inspiring Outside magazine to name him The Fittest (Real) Man in America.
In Can’t Hurt Me, he shares his astonishing life story and reveals that most of us tap into only 40% of our capabilities. Goggins calls this The 40% Rule, and his story illuminates a path that anyone can follow to push past pain, demolish fear, and reach their full potential.