Some people believe that acceptance means being passive to injustices or situations that are unfair. For years, I held this belief. It doesn’t mean that. Instead, it means accepting the situation as it is in this moment, while working in a positive and loving way to make it better. Oftentimes when we try to right a wrong or improve things, our mind or ego leads the charge which can result in obsessive thinking, ruminating, complaining, judging, and withholding love and kindness. This is what we mean when we say “the fight within yourself”. This behavior, often unconscious, creates suffering for you and others. While this is certainly one way to interact with the situation, there is a different way. The latter involves consciously choosing to be grateful, loving, and kind as you intelligently work to make situations better. And if there is no action that can be taken, practice acceptance here too. When acceptance is practiced it brings peace.
mindfulness
In this pod, Rick and Keith discuss the importance of routine and how it positively contributes to your life. When challenges show up, as they inevitably do, an anchor can keep you conscious and present as you see your way through. A healthy routine can be that anchor. Listen as the guys share their routine and encourage you to utilize one in your life. It’s benefits are far reaching.
Keith’s Routine
Morning:
• Gratitude Exercise
• 5-10 minutes of reading the Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-free Living by Amit Sood, M.D.
• Listen to a podcast during my stretching routine and morning prep for the day
• Stretching/Rolling/Core Work for 10 minutes
• Practice being present and aware of the day’s novelty on my drive
Throughout the day:
• Practice Loving Kindness, Acceptance, Compassion and Gratitude
Before bed:
• Stretch & Roll my body
• Digital Curfew (turn off all electronics in the bedroom)
• Gratitude Exercise
Rick’s Routine
Morning:
• Up at 5:00 a.m.; 12 oz cold water
• Out the door at 5:10 a.m.; 4.1 mile hike Courthouse Butte or Baldwin Trail
• Walking Meditation (about 3 hours in nature, alone)
• No food until noon (intermittent fasting) break the fast with protein, never carbs
Throughout the day:
• Phone on, but ringer off all day, return calls at my discretion (I rarely answer the phone without a prior appointment to talk at a particular time)
• Check emails only 3x per day, respond at my discretion (I am not on any social media– phone and email are merely communication tools, not my life)
• Journal 40 minutes; read 2-3 hours per day
• MINDFULNESS all day—being fully present without judging
Before bed:
• Listen to jazz, chamber music while unwinding and recapping the day; more journaling and reading (I have no TV)
• Or listen to podcasts (Tim Ferriss, Krista Tippet) or TED talks on various subjects
In bed:
• Kill the tunes, read self-help, spiritual authors
• Outline ToDo’s for tomorrow
Here Are 8 Things We Do For a More Calm, Centered and Happy Life
- Stop being led by ego! It’s not about you–identify one positive event each day that has nothing to do with you. Your ego is not your friend; suffering comes from your ego’s preferences and expectations. It wants you to be the center of the universe. You are not.
- Tell someone about the positive event or share it on social media (only if you absolutely must use the damned electronics). This can help you savor the moment a little longer.
- Start a daily gratitude journal. Aim to find little things you’re grateful for, such as good coffee, salmon/peach sunrise or a cute kid. “Notice what is nice” about any given situation. Be present! Be conscious! Live your life with intention!
- Identify a positive personal strength and reflect on how you’ve used this strength today. Such as your compassion, patience, listening skills, humor.
- Set a daily goal and track your progress (“Today I’m not going to criticize my kid—instead I’m going to catch my kid in the act of doing something right, and tell her”). This is based on research that shows when we feel progress towards a goal, we have more positive emotions. The goal should be modest.
- Try to practice “positive reappraisal”: Identify an event or daily activity that is a hassle. Then, try to reframe the event in a more positive light. Example: If you’re stuck in traffic, think how nice to have quiet time, turn off the entertainment system, breathe deeply, focus on the breath, notice something new in your surroundings. This practice can start to become a habit. Novelty in life gives us a lift.
- Help someone each day—no matter how small. These daily acts of kindness can be as simple as giving someone a smile, holding a door open, sharing a cute story with someone sad. Research shows we feel better when we’re kind to others.
- Practice mindfulness by paying attention to the present moment. You can also try a 10-minute breathing exercise that uses a focus on breathing to help calm the mind.
In this episode, Rick and Keith share how to bring mindfulness to every problem in life. When you do, you accept the situation just as it is and take intelligent action, if there’s any action to be taken. The situations go from being sources of suffering to openings for presence and deeper consciousness.
Keith’s Mentions:
Lanny Bassham
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose… until you lose. That is how Olympic Rifle Shooting Champion Lanny Bassham begins his book, With Winning in Mind, the most authoritative book available on mental training for sports and competitive business environments. The book tells the tale of a competitor who understands the feeling of losing. Bassham lost the Gold Medal and took the Silver instead after the pressure of the competition went to his head during the 1972 Olympic Games in Munich. In With Winning in Mind, Bassham paints a picture for readers of just why this loss was so devastating for him. Losing mattered and it hurt! But Bassham explains that he wasn t about to walk away defeated and he sets off on a journey to find out everything he can about how the mind is involved in sport and performance. What he discovered will amaze you! His discovery lead to the creation of Mental Management Systems and brought Bassham to the Olympic victory stand just 4 years later in 1976 with his Olympic Gold Medal win in Montreal.
Olympians, coaches, parents, performers, and business professionals find success in the winner s circle. Now the 3rd Edition of With Winning in Mind includes new chapters, new stories and examples, and 25 percent more mind enhancing content as the last edition of the book. “Over the years there have been times where I have thought to myself, gosh, I wish I had put that in With Winning in Mind. Well now I have,” says Bassham.
Brian Johnson
The best Big Ideas from 500 of the greatest personal-growth books at your fingertips (and eyes and ears). Beautiful to look at and powerful to use, these mini-CliffsNotes of personal growth will inspire and empower you to live your deepest truths—giving you more wisdom in less time.
Brian Johnson’s Optimize.me makes sense and is perfect for on-the-go folks who need an occasional reminding that they have the ability to solve their own problems, and can do so effortlessly starting with being mindful.
Brian is a serial-entrepreneur, deep-thinker, relentless-reader and modern-day philosopher. Try his book summaries on Faster To Master, or, you may love his “Philosopher’s Notes“. Optimal Living 101 is his key course and along with his advanced, Master Classes. They’re a synthesis of all he’s read and discovered. They’re a mishmash of principles and methods to live by.
Rick’s Mentions:
Buddhism teaches that the cause of all of our suffering comes from ego—wanting things to be our way. Understanding egolessness or selflessness is the key to healing our personal wounds and relationships. We tend to cling to our belief in a solid “I” out of a fear of groundlessness. This is a futile and false attempt to create some security. Ha! There is no security in life, sorry. Clinging to this made up illusion of self, we close down on who we really are and the options life offers. The experience of selflessness opens us up from the claustrophobia of self-centeredness into the spaciousness of possibility and connection.
The ego loves black and white. The ego loves to judge and put others down because it elevates our ego. To see the world in black and white will bring us down. This outlook divides the world into right versus wrong, good versus evil, yes versus no. We like this kind of thinking because it is easy, we are lazy and does not require analysis. If (whatever) falls in the black category it is bad, end of inquiry. Black and white thinking is the ultimate sign of small mindedness. It does not serve us because it ignores the fundamental truth that the world is nuanced and predominantly gray. And changing all the time.
“Wabi Sabi.” Japanese concept that escapes accurate and direct translation but roughly means the appreciation for things that are impermanent, incomplete, disheveled. Beauty is in things imperfect. There is vulnerability and a kind of honesty in beat up or ignored things that is usually overlooked, in favor of the sleek, expensive, new, and seemingly perfect. It is a sensibility that encourages humility, respect for the stages of life and the natural world.
In this episode, the guys share how to move forward when you feel like you have reached a plateau. Sometimes it seems impossible, but there is a way. Listen as Rick and Keith share how.