These last few months I have been in close contact with a family member. With a diagnosis of a rare form of breast cancer, I was asked to research cancer-fighting foods. Highly motivated, I took on this request with a strong passion to seek out as much information as I could from reputable and reliable resources. Taking my last class for my Certificate in Nutrition for Fitness and Wellness at the time, I realized that the process of education and research is never-ending. Always be open and eager to learn!
According to the journal, Cancer Causes & Control, women who reported consuming the most sweets, including desserts, sweetened beverages and added sugars, had a 27 percent greater risk of breast cancer than women who consumed less. Anyone who has done any research on the subject knows that sugar feeds cancer. And cancer, plain and simple, sucks! Sugar addiction can be dangerous. A diet heavy in processed carbohydrates (sugar), not only contributes to breast cancer risk, but it also causes weight gain and increased risk for diabetes and heart disease. I will write another blog specifically on what I learned in regards to nutrition as it relates to cancer, but this blog, due to popular post-holiday demand, is taking a tangent turn to talk once again about sugar, and why you might want to consider detoxifying your body from sugar.
Don’t stop reading, yet! High sugar intake is also linked to depression and later-life dementia. I’m not recommending a 10-day or a 30-day anything, but rather just 3 days of giving up sugar…. ALL SUGAR! For the typical sugar addict, eating even the smallest amount of sugar can trigger the brain to send signals for more and before you know it you’re having a binge attack! In order to break the cycle it is most effective to go “cold turkey”. Making it “black and white” kicks the cravings fast and you will feel better within just 72 hours! Those hours will be tough, but know that you can fill the void with delicious and tasty options. It’s all about being determined and prepared and supported!
If I’ve held your attention this far chances are you can answer “yes” to any one of the following:
If so, a sugar detox may just be the answer to set you back on track.
While it may be tough to get through these 72 hours, the rewards will be worth it! The need for a sugar fix will disappear and headaches and fatigue will go away! This is the start of retraining your taste buds to enjoy food with lower levels of sugar intensity and being able to control portions.
I’m not a fan of “New Year’s Resolutions” which ultimately end in failure. But, rather, I share this information for you to be the one to say, “I’m ready! I can do this! My 3 days starts tomorrow! However, I would strongly recommend that you take advantage of ToBeRe… support and accountability. Proclaim to someone what you are doing or do it with a partner or group. Make a plan for your meals and, if needed, ask for help. You already know what you’re NOT going to eat, but make sure you know what you’re going to eat, too.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you have any questions. For those who commit, I have recipes and more specific information on what to eat and how to add natural sugars back into your diet.
For more information on the dangers of sugar, you can check out my article, The Science Behind Sugar: Be Aware, https://tobere.com/science-behind-sugar-aware/
Let’s do this! Here is to a healthy and productive 2018!
1Free sugar is defined by the World Health Organization and the UN Food and Agriculture Organization in multiple reports as “all monosaccharides and disaccharides added to foods by the manufacturer, cook, or consumer, plus sugars naturally present in honey, syrups, and fruit juices”.Load Comments
It was not my choice to write this article. Truly, I wanted to just quietly slide right in and through this surgery without much ta-dah! However, I got a request, as most of you would guess, from Keith Jones, and so I started to write. At the time I just thought I would be sharing helpful information for someone else – little did I know that the exercise of writing this article would greatly help to move me into a space where I feel confident and powerful and at peace. I am sure this was Keith’s intention all along. And with that, here is my article…
I will be having major foot/ankle surgery next week. While I could easily let my “negative chatter” get the best of me, I know that the anxiety that would come from it will not help to serve me in preparing for this event, physically or emotionally. The hard work is done – recognizing my pain, my limitations, and my prospect for activities in the future; and starting the process to do something about it. While it was a process, I have done my homework and left no stone unturned. I am at peace with my decision. Contributing in a big way towards that peace is the support from my ToBeRe… community who will not allow me to play victim. They have been my source for everything that I need to create a positive mindset. For anyone else that may need to have a similar surgery, I would like to share my experience….. so far.
Be patient and enjoy the journey! Six years ago I had to be non-weight bearing for a stress fracture. I credit a strong comeback to Keith Jones and ToBeRe… Even though I wasn’t exercising at the same level as everyone else, I showed up every time! Keith gave me a modified workout. If nothing else, I always walked away with an abundance of positive energy! I will put my confidence into ToBeRe’s philosophy again – basically, to trust the process and stay committed. This is easy when all you have to do is show up. Staying connected did everything for my mindset, and studies prove again and again that a positive attitude will take you far and fast on the road to recovery. We all have muscle memory and with the same level of commitment and dedication that I learned when I took my first ToBeRe workshop, I know I will bounce back and be stronger than ever! I will demonstrate again the power of good nutrition and its role in healing. Future foot surgery patients will be googling what kinds of exercise they can do in a cast, and you know what… my videos just may come up!
With a keen focus on directing my energy towards the things I can control, I have more love, peace and gratitude in my life these days. And by letting go of things I can’t control, I remove barriers that prevent me from being my happiest and creating winning connections with others. It’s sobering to know that I am solely responsible for how I experience life. Others can contribute, but at the end of the day, it’s up to me. And it all comes down to how much effort and consistency I apply to training my mind to interpret life.
All we have is the present moment. When I was younger, people older and wiser than me would say this. While I heard them, I wasn’t listening very well. I was busy being caught up with achieving and succeeding in life. This meant using the past as motivation to rise above where I started out and the future as a lighthouse guiding me towards what I wanted to accomplish and obtain. It’s no wonder I missed out on all the peace and joy along the way. I didn’t fully appreciate the people around me who provided wonderful examples of how to live in the moment and how the present moment is all that matters. It’s all that is. Everything else is a trap or an illusion. Once I learned this, I began working on how to honor the present and experience it fully. This meant making lots of changes in my mindset.
The first step I needed to take was to stop judging others, myself and life. I had to train myself to stop looking for what was missing in people and wrong with life. I began working on seeing the good in everyone when mistakes are made, rather than passing blame. I acquired new lenses by which to view life’s problems. With lots of practice, I started seeing possibilities and opportunities in situations that I once would’ve reacted in anger and frustration towards.
The second step involved gaining leverage on my ego; especially when it comes to other people. I make it a practice to extend grace and forgiveness even though it was once much easier to judge and shame others and myself. I gave up the victim identity my ego wanted me to take on, by telling me people wronged, abandoned or betrayed me. Which led to an important question. If I am no longer a victim, then who am I? The answer is free. I get to be free when I let go of all the things my mind chooses to believe and focus on, that only result in anxiety, worry, stress, guilt, blame and shame.
Training the mind to be present in the moment is the only way to be free. Free to be happy, free to love and free to just be. It’s not easy because we are conditioned to operate from a place of fear; even when there are no real threats to our physical being. In the absence of real danger, an untrained mind will create something to be afraid of or react to. A trained mind responds to “perceived” threats by making a choice that results in experiencing peace and gratitude in the present moment. For example, traffic is something you can’t control. However, I used to get angry and frustrated when I felt I was stuck in it. Now whenever in it, I express gratitude for the opportunity to practice patience and mindfulness. I use the time to do a gratitude exercise or listen to a personal development podcast by teachers like Eckhart Tolle or Wayne Dyer.
Another example deals with stress. I use to feel anxiety before certain workouts or business meetings where I was attached to the outcome. I’ve learned that stress, anxiety and worry are created in the mind. And because this is where they originate and I control the mind, I can minimize or eliminate them. The key to doing so is to be present. Occasionally stress and anxiety slip past my defenses and when I feel them, I run through the following steps:
Training the mind is not easy, but if you want a peaceful, loving and happy life, it’s absolutely necessary. It’s true that no one or no-thing can make you happy. Only you can do that. Money, fame, power and relationships won’t do it. But a trained mind rooted in the present, aware of its power to choose how it sees people and things and a commitment to train it, can be make all the difference in the world.
When it comes to personal development, this is perhaps the best time in human history to be alive. We are the beneficiaries of centuries of scientific research, human trial and error and advances in technology and medicine. It has never been easier for people to live healthy and happy lives. So it begs the question, why are so many people unhealthy and unhappy? I propose that the answer lies in whether or not a person is committed to personal development. Wayne Dyer says, “A person will not outperform their personal development or habits for long.”
I define personal development as “consistently working on yourself so that you become the best version of you.” A commitment to this will show up in how you love yourself, care for your body and treat others. The bigger priority you place on this in your life, the bigger the reward. You will be healthier, happier and everyone in your life will win bigger. And here’s the kicker, you can achieve and experience all of this for free.
There was a time when the only way to obtain life changing personal development tools and reap their benefits was by hiring a life coach or going to seminars. This can cost thousands of dollars. While totally worth the money, you have other resources at your fingertips that require little to no money. With just an investment of your time and commitment, you can learn from some of the best teachers and coaches on the planet. Every morning, as I’m getting ready for my day, I listen to free podcasts, YouTube or TED videos. For example, if I’m feeling down or overwhelmed by negative self-talk, I do a quick YouTube search for Dr. Wayne Dyer. His videos remind me to be mindful of the things I say to myself and to be loving no matter what is going on in my life.
Personal development is the number one priority in my life. I see it as an opportunity to practice extreme self-care. It’s not about being perfect. Rather, it’s consistently and deliberately working every day to be the best me so that I win and others in my life get the best of me instead of what’s left of me. As a result of making personal development paramount, optimal is the adjective that best describes my health. Positive self-talk is my inner dialogue. Unconditionally loving is how I show up for the people in my life and the strangers I meet. And solution-driven is my mindset when dealing with challenges that come my way.
If you want to operate at your personal best, I encourage you to work on your inner being. It’s never been easier to do. While you’re in the shower, making breakfast or driving to work, put on a podcast. Some of my favorites include OPTIMIZE with Brian Johnson, Les Brown, Tara Brach and Wayne Dyer. Listen with an open mind and watch your life evolve. Mine certainly has.
A recent snowboarding trip drove home how a person’s mindset determines their life experience and level of happiness. A simple, but powerful shift in attitude can make all the difference in the world. It was just a few short years ago that situations I once saw as limiting, are now filled with possibilities. Same set of facts, just a different mindset and much better results.
It was early February and I was on a 5-day Tahoe ski trip to celebrate my birthday. My season pass and plane ticket were secured several months earlier. My snowboard was waxed and I was ready to go. Mother Nature had other plans. Rain and 90-100 mph winds shut down all the ski resorts for the week I was in town. To my surprise, I didn’t get upset by this. Instead, I looked for the gift in the situation. The closures gave me lots of time to work on several projects in my ToBeRe queue. I got so much work done on my trip. I left the Tahoe area feeling calm, accomplished and grateful. The old me would have been upset, disappointed and annoyed by it all. These are all useless reactions that don’t produce results and steal away any hidden joy in the moment.
Fast forward a month later, I headed back to Tahoe for round 2 on the slopes. This time the weather was perfect. I had only one goal while on my trip. I wanted to work out one morning before heading to the mountain. Exercising on the road is something that Tim Zencka and Pat Marcanio have inspired me to do. These guys begin every morning away lifting weights or going on a run. Oftentimes it’s before or after a 10-hour work day. Motivated by their example, I did a google search for a quality gym with a squat rack. Everyone knows how committed I am to squats. The only thing I needed was a ride to the gym since I didn’t rent a car. I silenced fear of the unknown, and downloaded the Uber app for my first experience with the service. Tim was right. It was so easy. I was picked up in 2 minutes, at the gym in 8 and working out. My day on the slopes was incredible.
A shift in mindset focused on what’s possible versus limiting thoughts can produce powerful outcomes. The ability to do this didn’t happen overnight for me. This is a skill I’ve had to work on daily. My diligence has paid off in a big way. Here’s how you can do it too:
A positive shift in mindset produces results and helps you grow. You see, the time is going to pass regardless of how you feel about the situation. You have a choice about how your time and energy are spent. You can spend it holding limiting thoughts and beliefs or building a mental skill set that changes your life experience and increases your level of happiness.
It has taken me half my life to practice what I was taught in my youth about how self-mastery produces happiness and inner peace. What a journey it’s been to get to this point. Along the way, I’ve felt a great deal of disappointment and anger; each time blaming life and others for not living up to my expectations. There was almost no ownership of my role in determining how I felt or chose to experience life. As a child, family members and teachers saw something special in me. They also noticed how I reacted when things didn’t turn out they way I thought they should. I berated life for being uncooperative, accused others of not trying harder and blamed myself for putting my fate in someone else’s hands. These wise people would say to me, “Keith, if you want to be happy, you need to learn how to let go of things outside of your control and direct your energy towards mastering yourself. Choose not to be angry, when your ego pulls you in that direction. Let go of perceived slights or broken promises by others. Release it all to make room for peace and gratitude to feel the space.” Great advice, I know, but I didn’t understand how I could possibly do it.
As I grew older and accomplished more, I found myself getting angry, disappointed and hurt more easily if things didn’t go my way. This seemed backwards to me. Why wasn’t I happier, more grateful and peaceful with each goal achieved? Why was I constantly upset about the past and worried about the future? And why was it so difficult for me to experience happiness in the present moment? The mind is an incredible researcher and problem solver if you ask it the right questions. Like a computer, my brain recalled conversations and wisdom I’d heard and read about the keys to living a happy and peaceful life. It all came back to mastery of self. While I can’t control how life shows up, how people treat me or whether I accomplish the mission, I can control how I see and experience it all. This timeless truth empowered me.
I did one important thing as I set my heading on this new course towards happiness and inner peace. I told myself that success would not come in an instant. This would be a life long journey similar to that of healthy living. One day of working out and eating a salad doesn’t make one healthy for life. It’s making those things daily rituals that do. And so it was true of living the kind of life I wanted for myself. So each day, I set out to be a little better than I was the day before at accepting life however it showed up, not finding fault or blame in others and staying present to beauty, goodness and lessons in the present moment.
It’s been 3 years since I’ve made self-mastery a top priority in my life. And of all the gifts I’ve given myself, this is the greatest one. If weather conditions like high winds and rain close down Lake Tahoe resorts on a ski trip during my birthday week, I accept it and turn my attention to the positives. The additional moisture is good for climate and water ways. And the closures free me up to finish projects sooner. If someone close to me breaks a commitment, I look internally and purposely recall times in which I’ve broken promises to be my best with others. Upon doing this, I immediately let the perceived slight go and feel unconditional love for the person. And when I fall short of a stated goal, I take a moment to remember that “it’s not win or lose, it’s win and learn.” I ask myself what I learned from the experience and make a commitment to course correct and implement the lesson next time.
Self-mastery takes commitment and hard work. It is the hardest task I’ve ever undertaken. And it’s also the most worthwhile. I’m happier than I’ve ever been because I choose to be. I hope you will be too.Load Comments
Opportunity is all around you and it’s constantly knocking. If you don’t see or hear it, it’s because you’re not looking and listening. Trust me, it’s there. The first step in taking advantage of opportunity is recognizing it when it shows up. The next step is taking action with hard work.
The key to being present to opportunity is an open and strong mindset. What does that look like? First, you have a beginners mind versus one of an expert. The latter hears almost everything from the space of “that idea won’t work, I’ve already tried that or that’s not better than what I’m already doing”. They only consider one to two things they can do differently to produce the result they want. But the mind of the beginner is a totally different thing in every way. It is open and coachable. It sees hundreds, if not thousands of possibilities in every opportunity.
This brings us to the next step in running with the opportunities life gives us. The saying goes, “When opportunity knocks, hard work answers the door”. That’s right. It’s not enough to simply see good fortune. You have to do something with it. Take the gift and apply hard work to it and you will realize the full potential of it. For most of my life, I couldn’t swim. Many people offered to help me. I made up excuses all the time of why I couldn’t do it. Then one day, I shifted my mindset and said yes to a teacher. To accomplish my goal of swimming a mile in the ocean, I had to apply hard work. I met with the instructor one hour per week each Friday. Then five other days of the week, I practiced the drills she gave me for an hour each day. The opportunity my coach gave me combined with my hard work produced astounding results. I did more than complete the triathlon swim. I disappeared a fear of water and learned a skill I will have the rest of my life.
Look around you. Who and what are the opportunities you’re ignoring in your life? What are you allowing to distract you? If you want great health, fitness and a toned body, the community that can help you achieve it is probably right in front of your face. Get present to it. If you want to shift careers or grow your business, the mentor who can help you pivot and accomplish your goal is probably already someone you know. Clear your life of distraction so you can partner with them. And once you’ve done these things, commit to the hard work it takes to produce extraordinary results. It will be worth it.
If you want to take your life to the next level, click here to begin one on one coaching with me today.
This blog is a reminder and celebration of one of our greatest gifts. It’s the power of choice. This gift means we can choose to create victory out of seeming defeat. We can be champions rather than victims. We can gift ourselves and others compassion, empathy and love instead of feeling guilt and passing blame and judgment. No matter how daunting and bleak life may seem, we can always create a new path and outcome with the choices we make. Knowing this makes me feel empowered and unstoppable.
It begins with choosing our thoughts and behavior. Our experience of life is a direct result of how we think. Loving yourself starts with accepting who you are, your gifts, talents, imperfections and all. Choose to hold positive and loving thoughts about people, the world and yourself. See the challenges in life not as things done to you, but rather things done for you. This powerful shift in your thinking takes you from a victim mindset to one of a champion.
When I was going into the military, I listed the east coast as the part of the country I wanted to be stationed at. This would allow me to be close to my family in Tennessee. After boot camp, I received orders to report to Yuma, Arizona. I was disappointed and very angry. I blamed the government for not keeping their commitment to me. Blame is such a low level energy that produces the exact opposite of what we really want. I didn’t know it at the time but I was thinking like a victim and my behavior soon followed suit. My first two years in the southwest were spent contacting my recruiter and writing my congressman about the injustice. I told anyone who would listen how I had been wronged. Then one day a friend gave me Tony Robbins’ book, Awaken The Giant Within. After a just few pages I realized how much precious time I had wasted by thinking and behaving like a victim. I had become a cynical person about the government, people and life in general. How much better could my life had been served, if I had chosen to see my time in southern Arizona as an opportunity to learn Spanish, take evening college courses and visit west coast cities.
Fast forward to today and my mindset is completely different thanks to the lessons I learned twenty five years earlier. Now I am a big believer in the importance of training my mindset by learning a new skill in much the same way as I train my body. With discipline and commitment I read personal development books and listen to inspirational podcasts each morning. This directly shapes the choices I make during the day. Do my thoughts, behavior and choices move me closer to my goal? Am I loving, compassionate and forgiving to others? Do the people in my life make me better or distract me from who I can be? Do I value my gifts and honor them by using them daily to serve others instead of allowing outside noise to distract me? Do I hold myself accountable when I fall short of who I can be? Do I apologize when I’ve let others and myself down? Do I have a leader and champion’s mindset? Do I truly love myself and others? And does my behavior reflect this?
Thankfully I’ve gotten a few more chances to choose since my days in the Marines. One occurred a little over a year ago. Admittedly, it took me a little bit of time to find my footing and accept responsibility for my role in the incident. But as soon as I did, I began making choices consistent with someone who is not perfect but rather committed to learning from their failures and trying to get better each day. I chose not to be a victim or pass blame or take it on myself. I made a choice to learn, grow and be better. I chose to accept things as they were “and grow where I was planted.”
The power to choose is our most important gift. Wherever you are and whatever you’re going through, you can chart a new course by exercising your power to choose. Ask yourself the questions above. The rewards that come from choosing wisely are limitless.
I have always been interested in people. Beyond the achievements and successes, I want to learn about their journey. What has their path been like? What experiences have shaped them? What people have influenced their thinking? And whatever chapter I walk into on their life, what has gotten them to that point?
While I’ve taken an interest in people’s journey most of my life, I’ve not always been objective about the person. I use to bring judgment and biases with me. As I’ve gotten older and matured, I no longer do that. I can observe a person and learn from them whether they are at the top of their game or trying to find their stride. I became a better person when I could see the good in people no matter their past or how things might be at the moment for them. I send love regardless.
My life has been filled with both successes and challenges. All the people I’ve met along the way have contributed to my experiences in some way. Some people have been kind and unconditionally loving. Others haven’t. This doesn’t stop me from loving them all the same. The fact that I can do so without reservation demonstrates how much I’ve grown and continue to grow. When you can be loving and kind-hearted to everyone without exception, it demonstrates how committed you are to being happy and peaceful.
So many times, we pass judgment on people or project our own failings unto others without acknowledging our own shortcomings, poor choices or failures. The people who allow us to see their struggle are often the most courageous amongst us. Instead of judging them or turning away, we should be inspired by them and extend a hand to help them through their difficulty. It’s so easy to judge others and ignore our own shortcomings. It takes a truly big person to work on themselves while supporting others in doing the same. We all lose our way sometimes. And just because we wander for a while, it doesn’t mean we are lost. Be empathetic, loving and kind to everyone.