We often hear people say, “it’s all about the journey.” We believe that. The journey is filled with challenges that are designed to help us grow. If you accept this and choose to put in the work that it takes to have a meaningful life, the happier you will be. There are NO free lunches. You have to work daily for a peaceful life.
challenges
Reaching your goals takes work. Challenges and unexpected surprises can make the effort even harder. Two things have helped me pursue my goals relentlessly no matter how tough or daunting life challenges seem. The first thing I do is to set and pursue three of the same goals every day. They are exercising, eating healthy and having a loving attitude. These are three winnable goals that are completely in my control. As long as I put in the work, they are guaranteed wins that build my confidence and make me stronger for other challenges that may show up. The second thing I do is to take care of goal number one no matter what. I don’t miss workouts. Ever. I eat healthy all the time. And, I constantly work on being a loving person. I give 100% effort.
Some people assume I love exercising based on my fitness level and physical shape. This is not the case. I don’t especially enjoy exercise. However, I absolutely love the benefits. I really like feeling fit. I like the physical activities I am able to do. I like the discipline, commitment and mental toughness you get from working out consistently and challenging yourself. And, most of all, I love the people I train with. I’ve been blessed to work out with awesome friends the last ten years. The fitness, stronger mental game and friendships are the special gifts I get from exercise. And they keep coming. I am 46 years old with no aches, pains or serious injuries. If one creeps up, I take care of it immediately by stretching and rolling. I adhere to the philosophy, “take care of your body and it will take care of you.” I still have big goals and a gigantic life purpose to serve and help others. I have to be fit for this.
I’ve eaten healthy for over 12 years now. For the longest time, I didn’t care about how food tasted as long as it was healthy and good for my body. Thanks to recipes contributed by community members over the years and Candy’s Clean Kitchen this last year, I no longer sacrifice taste for good food. My daily nutrition is bursting with nutrients and flavor. The food is so good. (Become a Stronger Total Being Member today for the most delicious and healthy recipes and cooking videos on the planet.) I’ve made eating healthy a high priority because I want to feel forever young. Nutrition is a necessary part of this. It impacts my workouts, health and mindset.
We’ve all heard it many times. Attitude is everything. And I believe it. This is why I work on mine as diligently and purposely as I do on my fitness. I want to make a difference in the world. I can’t do that if I’m down, depressed, angry or resentful. It’s impossible to do if I play the victim or cast others as villains. I will certainly fail if I judge, blame or shame others and myself. Understanding this, I work hard on my attitude. Everyday I wake up and make two declarations. One, I will be loving to everyone no matter what happens today. And two, I will see the gift and opportunity in every situation no matter how it shows up.
To be successful with these declarations, I have a plan in place that I follow daily. I begin each morning with meditation and an inspiring podcast that quiets any negative chatter I have going on. And, I lean on my positive amazing friends if I need to. Now, while I’ve shown that I can be fit and eat healthy on my own, having a loving attitude and being positive is a different story. I need amazing people in my life for this one. Their priceless, unconditional love and support creates the space where I can grow and learn from my mistakes and failures without fear of judgment. The grace they give to me allows me to keep trying because they see the goodness in my heart. They encourage when times are tough and stand for me when I am having trouble standing for myself. Their consistent love, along with my daily declarations, helps me build a stronger attitude every day. With this, I exponentially improve my chances of helping others to be happy, live their best life and make a difference.
I exercise, eat healthy and work on my attitude because I want to live a life that matters. I don’t care about material things. I care about people. And while I appreciate being treated lovingly, it doesn’t stop me if it doesn’t happen. I’m going to be loving anyway. I am obsessed with making a difference. This is what motivates me. And, to fulfill my purpose, I have to be strong physically, mentally and emotionally. This is why I exercise, eat healthy and work hard. Why do you? And if you don’t, consider committing to it. Life is better and more fulfilling when you do.
Stronger Mindset!
Keith
Every day I realize more and more how amazing my life is. Each moment that I’m alive is one to take full advantage of to do something great. Whether the sun is shining or the weather is stormy; I choose to seize the day and make something meaningful out of it. This powerful perspective ensures I am consistently in action and rarely a victim of circumstance.
Life is not always a bed of roses. It can take a bit of willpower to get out of bed and be productive every single day. But if you want to reach your goals, you have to be uncompromising in your commitment to put the work in. When you adapt this attitude, your mind opens up and you begin to see all the opportunities in front of you. I applied this mindset to recent rough patch in business. We were experiencing a challenging year financially. Membership had dropped and we needed to do something fast. Closing the doors was not an option for me. I love my friends, community and helping people reach their goals too much to call it quits. Instead, we began brainstorming ideas on what we could do new and different. Something awesome happened as a result. Where we once saw potential tragedy, we began to see opportunities and possibilities. This turned things around. We are continuing on this path of being open, exploring opportunities and seeing them through. It’s fun to reflect and see how far we’ve come and how much healthy goodness we’ve produced.
I am a goal-oriented person. I like to see progress. It doesn’t matter if it will take a while to reach the goal as long as I am learning, growing and progressing along the way. So it pains me to get to the end of the day and have nothing to show for it. I make sure this rarely happens. As a result, I no longer miss out on many opportunities.
Here are three things you can do to maximize the opportunities life presents to you.
- Adopt an attitude that opportunities are everywhere.
- Be prepared for opportunities when they show up. Sports are great to use as an example. Tom Brady, New England Patriots quarterback and 5-time super bowl champion, was the back-up for his team early in his career. When the all-pro starting quarterback got injured in a game, Brady came in and led the team. He did such an outstanding job that they won the Super Bowl that year and he never gave the job back. Because he was prepared for the opportunity, he was able to seize the moment and lead his team to victory. While I’m no Tom Brady, I prepare for my opportunities by exercising and eating healthy daily, learning as much as I can for my craft and as a person, and surrounding myself with positive people who are committed to being their best.
- Take action. Once an opportunity appears, don’t sit on it. Instead take action immediately. When you meet someone who can help you reach your goal, set up a follow up meeting that same day. This will require you prepare for the meeting which means you’re in action. At the end of the meeting, walk away with things you will do before the next meeting. Keep repeating this until you reach your goal.
Life is what you make it. So make the most of it by maximizing your opportunities.
Stronger Mindset,
Keith
My friend, Billy, recently sent me this article saying, “Something to do more research on and start teaching?” I love it when my friends can guess exactly what fires me up and what I would LOVE to do more research on. The article discusses the secret to weight loss. You can bet I will be exploring and testing this concept. It makes sense. Everyone wants something easy… a magic pill, per se. I believe it takes hard work (at first) to successfully manage your weight and your health. It can be done. All you need is the desire to make it happen.
Here it is – the stats that get me fired up every time. The average adult is 24 pounds heavier today than in 1960! What does this mean? It means we are in a severe health crisis that is costing our nation over $200 billion per year in health care expenditures! Why isn’t anything getting done? I will save that for another article which will address the fight with big businesses and lack of governmental involvement. For now, we are solely responsible for our health. The following is a weight loss “secret” that is worth exploring.
It has to do with changing your brain and stress! If there was ever to be a magic pill, as a solution to weight loss, it will be changing the “emotional” brain. It’s the areas of the brain that house the circuits that control stress, thoughts and behaviors. These circuits can be rewired, and by changing them we have a chance to address the root cause of stress-related problems. More and more research shows that stress plays a major role in weight gain and many people turn to food for comfort. This is where “Emotional Brain Training” comes in to play — based on a neuroscience approach to weight management. The emotional brain is command central and includes the fear, reward and starvation centers. When the brain is in stress, all three centers promote overeating and weight gain. It is a strong drive to do exactly that which we know we shouldn’t, but we can’t help it! We feel out of control.
So how do we destress the emotional brain? We need to check in several times a day by taking a deep breath and identifying our level of stress. There are five levels of stress and five tools.
- Compassion – very low stress. Feel compassion for yourself, others and all living things.
- Feelings – low stress. How do you feel? What do you need and do you need support?
- Flow – a little stress. Identify the negative feelings and change them into positive to give you the energy to move forward.
- Cycle – high stress. State what is bothering you using the exact words that you are feeling; for example, “I hate that I have to complete that project all on my own”. By listening to these words you can unlock this circuit. Take a couple deep breaths and then change those words to something like, “Completing that project on my own will be a challenge”. Next support yourself. You have changed the circuit to one that you are now choosing the task. With this new expectation, the emotional drives begin to fade and you gain control.
- Damage Control – very high stress. This is where the breathing becomes really important. Say phrases to yourself; such as, “Don’t judge” and “It will pass”.
Once you’ve released stress from your emotional brain, you will find that you are much less likely to reach for food to cope. The rewiring takes time as the brain remembers that food “saved us” from stress, but over time it gets easier. The solution is to move the emotional setpoint so we get the emotional brain out of chronic stress.
Do you reach for food when you’re stressed? If so, I would encourage you to read the full article and give it a try. Seek others within your community to talk to about it and get support. I, for sure, will be exploring this area of training the brain, not the body.
Stronger mindset,
Amy
Experience is such a great teacher. I’ve come to value the lessons that come with it more and more as I age. One particular truth that experience has taught me is that I can’t solve a problem using the same mindset that created the problem. This is true in career, personal relationships, and health. If I am not happy with where I am in those areas of my life, I have to change the thinking that got me there.
The career path I’ve been on the last 10 years is so rewarding. I love it. It’s provided hundreds of opportunities to learn and grow. And I’ve worked with amazing people. If there’s been one recurring challenge, it’s been in being creative with marketing and disciplined financially to meet obligations while allocating resources to promote growth. I did an okay job. But for the goals I have, an “okay job” is not good enough. So the last six months I made a shift in my approach. Instead of ignoring or avoiding things, I’ve set meetings and created a market and business plan to get me on solid financial footing. And I secured the help of a friend who is fiscally responsible and experienced. For a goal as big as mine, it requires a business leader’s mindset.
I’ve learned from all my personal relationships; especially the challenging ones. For the longest time, I blamed the other person for an unhealthy connection. But if I’m honest with myself, I bare a lot of the responsibility. By being distracted from my commitment to be my best, I got into relationships or friendships that didn’t support my life purpose to make a difference in the world. I started doing things that took me further away from that. I chose being entertained over completing projects, gossiping and judging over loving and forgiving, and trading what I want long term for what I wanted right now. This short-sighted mindset cost me. I caused pain to others and myself. This could have been avoided had I stayed focused on what’s really important to me. Now I am dialed in and my choices reflect it.
Health and fitness can be an area that’s challenging for some people to remain committed and disciplined in. If that’s the case for you, ask yourself, “Am I happy with my current state? Is it the best it can be? Can I do more? If your thinking has been “I don’t have time to workout. I don’t want to exercise that hard. I don’t have time to cook healthy, etc…”, your health and fitness won’t change. Any health issues or decline in performance will persist or get worse unless you change your mindset. You must give up all excuses, reasons and considerations that keep you stuck where you are.
Einstein said it best. “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” If you want a different outcome for your life, change your thinking. Become a Stronger Total Being Member today and begin developing your stronger mindset.
Stronger Mindset!
Keith
I am proud of myself for no longer allowing anxiety to rule me. Up until just 5 years ago, fear of the unknown or being judged kept me from doing many things that I might otherwise have really enjoyed doing. It’s been a journey to get to this place where I can now embrace the unknown. I do it because of the supportive friends in my life and the knowing that I will be better for trying.
As a child, I was the student who would never raise her hand and if I got called on, I said nothing. This was safe. I grew up as a gymnast and my world was mostly just school and the gym. This was safe. I went off to college at Oral Robert’s University on a gymnastics scholarship as my family felt like this would be a conservative place for Amy. This was safe. This pattern continued through my years of raising a family. I avoided social events whenever possible. I have worked at the same company now for 32 years. Safe!
“Safe” doesn’t necessarily help you chase your dreams or follow your passions. In January 2010, my real journey began when I signed up for my first workshop with ToBeRe… and Keith Jones. I would be turning 50 and I just wanted to lose a few pounds and feel good about myself. Little did I know that there were so many other areas in which I needed to grow.
After I graduated from my own workshop, I became a sponsor to new participants going through the 6-week program. At the “Welcome Orientation Dinner” sponsors had to get up in front of the group and tell your story. As much as I wanted to share – in writing, my stomach would tie itself in a knot and I could feel my heart start to pound. I could not eat. Keith would have me go first, knowing that the anxiety would dissipate and then I could get a plate of food.
This was the beginning of my coaching with Keith and embracing the uncomfortable. I quickly formed new girlfriend relationships through “HILOY (How Do I Land On You) exercises” which focus on people giving you support to grow in an area that’s important to you. I began listening to inspirational podcasts on my drive to work, and I would do a self-video about what I learned from the podcast once I reached the parking garage. As UNCOMFORTABLE as this was, I would then send the video to Keith, my accountability partner. The thought of having a better life experience pushed me to seek out that which made me uncomfortable my whole life.
Today, I don’t even think about it. I don’t let fear stop me. I have so much to give and share and my excitement is unstoppable. I teach 3 TRX classes every week and I am open to being in front of the video camera on a moment’s notice on any given subject. That said, I know I am still growing, but the more I do it, the better I get.
If this story sounds familiar, start today with the following 3 steps:
- List your fears. Mine was public speaking and social events.
- Do something every day to face your fears by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. For me it was self videos and doing cooking and exercise videos.
- Partner with a coach or friend who will support you and hold you accountable.
Embrace what’s uncomfortable. Face your fears. And live your passion!
Happy to be happy,
Amy