Keith JonesDecember 26, 2015

It’s easy to develop an ego-centric attitude where a person feels their success is a result of their individual effort. After all, they’re the ones who put in the long hours to work on their craft. Even so, no one does anything alone. We are all helped along the way to varying degrees.

Oftentimes people boast about how hard they worked to get where they are. And if that’s true, why not acknowledge everyone who helped them along the way? People who express gratitude freely understand this. The education they received, whether at university or in life, was provided by people who came before them. Someone built the university and developed the curriculum. A kind soul along the way gave them advice that sparked an idea or inspired a dream. And someone reminded them of their genius and uniqueness.

Team sports can be great at emphasizing how it takes everyone working together to realize the goal. Some families do an excellent job of it too. I have found that my time in the military, ToBeRe… and 2BeRe University are the best illustrations of how the collective efforts of many people produce results so great that their life changing. My life has certainly been made better by these communities.

Life is the richest when you’re growing, taking on new adventures and working with others. Surround yourself with positive people who remind you of the goodness in humanity. They bring value to your life and you to theirs. They get how powerful the collective is when doing acts of service for the greater good. And they understand we do nothing alone. Rather we thrive when working as one.

Keith

One of the keys to living an extraordinary life is staying present and in the moment. Far too much time is spent trapped in the past or worrying about the future. The happiest people are those who practice making the most of the present moment, loving themselves in a healthy way and being of service to others. It is impossible to do these things if you live in the past.

The past can be positive and inspirational or alluring and distracting. If you reflect on the past without the need to judge it and see people as teachers and events as opportunities for growth, it’s a positive thing. However, if your reflections make you feel sad, angry, bitter, wronged or depressed, consider looking back is not serving you. Rather, it’s hurting you and taking you out of the moment which is now.

Far too often, people become bitter about things that happened. The ego makes them think something happened to them instead something happening for them (to grow). As a result, they blame themselves or others. There is no power in this thinking. A more powerful way to see life is through the lens of a creative loving soul. They understand that the past can’t be changed and its only value lies in the positive lessons it teaches and the inspiration it holds to daily improve yourself.

I beseech you to let go of all stories and judgments from the past that adversely influence your opinion about other human beings and makes you bitter. Only the ego judges. The authentic soul loves and sees the goodness in others. It empathizes with another’s challenges and sends them grace to make it to the other side of obstacles before them.

If you find yourself stuck in the past, ask, “Am I being powerful in this moment or a victim? Are my thoughts about the past making me bitter or better?” You can’t change the past so choose to be the creative soul who focuses on the present moment and makes magic out of it. Embrace now with all the love and power within you!

Amy FriendDecember 23, 2015

While I was excitedly busy creating a nutrition webpage with tips, recipes, meal plans and more, I got asked the most basic question – What does good nutrition mean and why is it important to me? Brilliant, I thought! What a great question! The answer holds the foundation for understanding optimal health and how it ties in to a better YOU!

• Good nutrition means eating a variety of foods that give you the nutrients you need to maintain your health, feel good, and have energy. These nutrients include protein, carbohydrates, fat, water, vitamins, and minerals.
• Good nutrition means avoiding processed foods, as much as possible, that may have a long list of unfamiliar ingredients and contain excessive amounts of sodium.
• Good nutrition means limiting and being aware of added sugar. Research shows that there is a link between sugar, addiction and the risk for cardiovascular disease.
• Good nutrition means considering balance, variety and moderation in everything that you eat.

Good nutrition is the foundation for great health! It isn’t about giving up your favorite foods, but rather making smart choices from a wide variety of healthy fresh whole foods. The better your choices, the better you’ll feel physically and emotionally. From the moment you chomp down food, your teeth, tongue, stomach and intestines go to work to convert that food into nutrients that can be absorbed by the body. Foods like apples, broccoli, spinach, wild salmon and sweet potatoes are rich in nutrients. While foods like potato chips and doughnuts and soda are nutrient poor, giving you mostly saturated fat and/or added sugar. Whether rich or poor, these nutrients either travel through your bloodstream to supply energy to your body’s cells or they are stored as fat. Your body needs plenty of rich nutrients to grow and repair tissue and regulate your body’s chemical processes.

What you eat not only affects how you feel physically, but it can also bring about physiological and chemical changes in your brain structure, which can lead to altered behavior. An unhealthy diet can lead to depression or mood changes and loss of mental clarity. I have experienced this personally. When I feel on edge or depressed, I can usually trace it back to something I’ve eaten that is not healthy. Conversely, when I feel happy and on top of the world, those are the times when I am in control and feeding my body good nutrition.

There was a time in my life when I paid no attention to good nutrition. My perfect dinner may have been sitting in front of the TV with a bag of chips and a bowl of guacamole with a glass of chardonnay. I didn’t know or didn’t care. I know now why I felt the way I did. Anyone can change their habits if they really want to.

Good nutrition is about learning what to eat to support your body and mind. And, it’s about making healthy choices based on information so you can accomplish amazing things. If you want to feel great, live a long and productive life and be a stronger total being, be interested in your body and what you put in it. It’s the only one you’ve got!

Amy

Keith JonesDecember 22, 2015

My mom taught me many valuable lessons as a kid. One of them was to always be grateful and show gratitude. She always acknowledged family and friends who made big and small contributions to our lives. She never took anyone for granted. I learned from her example.

I was fortunate to grow up in a neighborhood where my friends’ parents were cut from the same cloth as my mom. From the day I was born to age 18, most of the adults in my life were walking embodiments of gratitude. After the word “momma”, I think “thank you” were the next two words I spoke.

As an adult in my mid-forties, I am grateful in a different way than I was earlier in life. Today I appreciate every single person, experience and opportunity. Even in the most challenging situations, I focus on being thankful. I have met some incredible people in my life. Some have moved on. I feel blessed to have known them and appreciate the many ways they blessed my life. And for my friends who I remain lovingly connected to, I am grateful daily for the continued grace, support and unconditional love they give to me.

Being grateful is a choice. Join me in choosing gratitude as your “goto” way of being, no matter how life shows up. And let everyone, past and present, know how much you appreciate them.

Thank you, Keith

Keith JonesDecember 20, 2015

For years I have worked at seeing the good in every person and situation. I’ve applied the mindset that nothing happens to me, it happens for me. This includes people and challenges that may seem bad on the surface. This way of thinking has served me well. I rarely take things personally or blame people for things that don’t go my way. And as a result of years of practice, this way of thinking is mostly second nature. But that’s not good enough. I want it to be automatic all the time. This got me to thinking about what is preventing it from being this way. Then the answer came to me. It’s my ego, the enemy within.

The ego has been defined as “the worst confidence trickster”. It’s a con artist that says, “I am you.” Dr. Peter Fongay, Freud Memorial Director of Analysis says, “The problem is the ego hides in the last place you would ever think to look. It hides within you.” “It disguises its thoughts as your thoughts, its feelings as your feelings.” says, Leonard Jacobson, Founder of the Conscious Living Foundation. And to protect the ego, people will do anything. Dr. Andrew Samuels, Professor of Analytical Psychology at the University of Essex, says, “People’s need to protect their own ego knows no bounds. They will lie cheat, steal, kill, do whatever it takes to maintain ego boundaries.” When I learned this I felt like I had been given an incredible gift. I now knew how to distinguish my true self from the part of me that sabotages all that I care about to protect itself.

Upon learning what the ego is, a person’s first impulse is to identify people who they feel allowed their ego to hurt them in some way. This is your ego making you think people wronged you. Remember, it tricks you into thinking its thoughts are your thoughts. The more powerful way forward is to reflect on the countless ways your ego has sabotaged your life, goals and relationships.

My ego burned down some of the most important things I’ve cared about. I made self-serving choices rooted in selfishness, all the while blaming someone else for the outcome. By making enemies out of people who are on their own journey, it’s distracted me from diligently working on my own life plan and goals. When I failed to keep my commitments and promises to be my best, honor my health and body, my ego was there to give me a handy excuse. When people have tried to help me in areas of my life that I denied were a problem, it made me go deeper into hiding, denial and secrecy. It’s so good at what it does. I’ve allowed my ego to make me feel judged. So in turn, I’ve judge others. I have made other people’s personal business mine when it’s had absolutely nothing to do with me and despite all the good they’ve done for me.

I have traced back every instance in my life where I have hurt, judged and blamed others, broken promises and played the victim. Without exception in each of these cases, one entity was present – my ego. With this irrefutable evidence, I am clear that my ego is not interested in my happiness.

The ego never goes away. It’s here to stay. To be powerful with it and be your best self, you must be constantly on guard for it. And you need to enroll people in your life to help you stand up to it. Your goals, dreams, happiness, and relationships depend on it.

Here are 4 ways to shutdown your ego so you can be your personal best, live your best life and nurture healthy relationships.

1. Deeply understand that any pain, anger, hurt, disappointment, blame, shame, guilt and victimhood directed toward yourself or others is severely misplaced. This is not what your true self is feeling. It’s the ego telling you that’s what you’re feeling. It’s a distraction from seeing the gift in the person, situation or experience.
2. Embrace the mindset that “things don’t happen to me, they happen for me.”
3. Surround yourself with people who are committed to being their best. This is different from doing their best. The ego will distort the latter into something that is inconsiderate of what you want or how it impacts others. Once you have these powerful people in your circle, give them permission to point out your ego when it shows up. And when they do, your only response is, “Thank you for pointing it out. Thank you for helping me step out of ego and back on my path.”
4. Kill the ego with kindness, love and grace. Give these gifts to yourself and others. The ego is selfish. You weaken it the moment you are in loving service of others and yourself.

The ego is the enemy within and it’s with us to stay. So whenever you feel down, hurt or upset, check to see what is making you feel that way. It’s more than likely your ego. Then remember, no one can make you feel a certain way. It’s just the ego distracting you from being your true self who is full of love and goodness. Be your true self!

Keith

Keith JonesDecember 18, 2015

This morning I learned how I could make a small tweak to my daily routine to produce greater success in key areas of my life. In an interview with Brian Johnson on the Optimize podcast, Karen Salmansohn, self-help author and host of the radio show Be Happy Dammit, suggested creating a ToBe List. This is where you write down the kind of person you want to be. The concept resonated with me immediately.

A ToBe List sets the framework by which you operate throughout your day, and it influences your daily todo list. Your ToBe List might include being a person who has optimal health and fitness. You would then list the tactical steps you will take that day to be a person who is committed to great health. Doing cardio for an hour and eating healthy all day might be on your list.

Taking care of my physical health has been a priority of mine for over 20 years. It’s on my subconscious ToBe and ToDo lists. The areas I see a ToBe list really paying off for me are finances and a relationship with a significant other. These are areas where I’ve fallen short and stumbled. I want to be a person who is excellent with finances so I can make an even greater positive impact on the world. This means taking on and completing daily tasks and mini projects that grow my business. It also means being strategic in how I charge for services and invest money back into the business. And in relationships, I want to be the kind of person who lovingly supports my partner’s life plan to be their best and live their best life. For this to happen, my daily todo list would include speaking my partner’s love language, honoring her in my words and actions and making sure I do things that express how much I value, love and support her.

I invite you to join me in creating a ToBe List so your daily actions are more focused and produce faster and greater results in your life. Here is how to do it:

1. Create a personal ToBe List that’s followed by action steps on your ToDo List. Write down the kind of person you want to be personally. How would you like to care for yourself? Include how you talk to yourself. Is the conversation positive or negative? Is it free of blame, shame, guilt and victimhood? Make your internal dialogue positive and loving. How do you honor your health and fitness each day? Be a person who eats healthy and does some form of exercise each morning, even when no one is watching. It’s a gift to yourself that you completely control.

2. Create a professional ToBe List where you’re the kind of person who experiences your ideal level of success. If you want to take your best ideas from dream state to realization, complete your projects. Take action on them daily. Cut out all distractions like phone, social media use and notifications and television while working on your professional goals.

3. Create a relationship ToBe List. Write down the kind of person you would have to be if your goal is to be the best relationship partner and friend. Practice actively listening to what matters most to your significant other and friends. Find ways to support their life plan to be their best self. Be loving, supportive and nonjudgmental in how you speak and treat them.

Join me in beginning each day with writing a ToBe list and living into being that kind of person. Doing so will influence your actions for the day and produce BIG results.

Keith

Keith JonesDecember 16, 2015

Ever so often I come across an old journal or notes with great ideas I had at the time. I recall being very excited. My process for making the ideas become reality always start out the same. I write a mission statement, create an outline of steps to take and make a timeline to get it all done. Then I get to work.

The difference between the project remaining an idea or being completed comes down to three things. The first is my 100% commitment to work on it daily or weekly no matter what comes up in my life. The second is tracking my progress. And the third is having an accountability partner. If I do these things, I produce results every time. If I leave out one of these steps, the project is significantly delayed, if finished at all. In most cases, it’s not completed.

Here is how to apply this 3-step formula to make your ideas, dreams and vision boards become reality:

1. Be 100% committed. If you’re serious about your dream, go all in. This means allocating time to work on it daily or weekly. Eliminate all distractions while you’re working. This includes no phone, email or social media during that time. Focus completely on the day’s work for your idea.
2. Track your progress by keeping a log or setting a small goal for the week. Make sure it’s an achievable one to build confidence and create momentum to keep going.
3. Have an accountability partner who will hold you to your commitment to work on the project. You want someone who will not give you a pass. Set up a day and time each week to meet with them. Let them know what your goal is for the week and commit to showing them the completed task at the end of the week. This is very important.

Every time I use this formula, I finish the project. However, if any part of the formula is left out or compromised, I fail. For example, if my accountability partner allows me to slide with an excuse, the task for that week rolls over to the next week and delays project completion. If this happens often, the idea dies. So it’s important that my partner doesn’t let me off the hook. If an emergency comes up, they can be empathetic while strongly requesting the date the task will be finished once the crisis passes.

Your ideas are important so treat them that way by going all in! Dreams don’t work unless you do. So get to work and see them all the way to the end!

Keith

Keith JonesDecember 14, 2015

My best friend Tim and I often talk about what it means to be committed versus interested. When you’re committed, you take action 100% of the time. Whereas, being interested means you may or may not take action depending on how you feel or what’s occurring in your life.

Below are three key distinctions between being committed and interested.
1. Being committed begins with a declaration to yourself or others about what you want to achieve. And it’s followed up with action 100% of the time. Interested in a goal typically begins with a statement to yourself and is rarely accompanied by consistent effort to achieve the goal.
2. People who are committed, work toward the stated objective whether someone is watching or not. Interested people do not.
3. When you’re committed you find a way to do what you said you were going to do no matter how challenging it may be. When you’re interested, you find an excuse.

Here are 3 examples of a committed mindset and an interested one regarding the same subjects:
Example: Exercise
The committed person: No matter what time I get to bed, I am working out tomorrow. And if it rains, I will workout indoors. If I have to miss the workout, I will make it up.
The interested person: I’m not going to set an alarm for tomorrow morning’s workout. I will see how I feel when I wake up.

Example: Nutrition
The committed person: My lunch is packed for the day because I can’t be sure there will be healthy options on the menu.
The interested person: I am sure I can find something healthy on the menu. If not, I will make the best choice of what’s there.

Example: How one treats themselves and others.
The committed person: I own the mistakes I’ve made. I commit to being better. I demonstrate grace by forgiving myself. And I don’t judge those who say negative things about me. Instead, I send them love.
The interested person: I can’t understand how someone could do those things. It’s unforgivable. I would never do that. They deserve any misfortune that comes their way.

At varying times in my life, I have been committed or interested in the things that mattered most to me. When it came to my physical health, I have produced excellent results because I am committed. In my efforts to realize my purpose to make a difference in the world, I have illustrated commitment there, too. However, when it’s come to integrity in my relationships with a significant other, I’ve fallen short. My actions demonstrated that I’ve been merely “interested” in being a great partner. Learning from my failures in this area, I have taken responsibility for my past and am now committed to being honorable in my relationships.

Take an honest look at your life. What areas do you profess you’re committed to but your effort and results suggest otherwise? Don’t beat yourself up about it. Nothing good comes from that. Instead, make a declaration that you will be 100% with exercise, nutrition and positive self-talk. And when it comes to others, be a loving partner, an empathetic and nonjudgmental friend and a loving, gracious human being.

Keith

Keith JonesDecember 12, 2015

Every day I am reminded to have an open heart and grateful attitude. Most of the time this is easy to do because I’ve practiced it for years. Every once in a while that’s not the case. Those instances mostly occur when I receive feedback on something I have worked hard on and have expectations around.

I know from the personal development work I’ve done to not have attachment to the outcome or result. The key to embracing the journey is focusing on the present moment and working in a focused and diligent way. As long as I do this, my experience is always rich with happiness, learning or both. When I deviate from this mindset, I open the door for my ego to step in and I become defensive when I receive feedback.

Recently someone told me a project I was working on needed more work to effectively reach the intended audience. Surprisingly, I listened without interrupting. But because the ego can’t sit still, this didn’t last long. I became defensive. I made the person’s suggestions mean we were way off track and more work was required to get back on. This is not what they said. This rarely matters when you’re not attached to a certain outcome and want things to go a certain way.

After the conversation, I took some time to think. I replayed the conversation in my head. I chanted “Feedback is a gift. See the gift in it.” After a few minutes, this took hold and I saw the phone call in a very different way. I viewed it as an opportunity to be led not by ego or an attachment to outcome, but rather the project’s mission and purpose. Had my friend helped me see that I was veering off course and needed a bit of correction to effectively hit the intended mark? This is exactly what she was doing. With this acknowledgment, I put my ego in its place and began writing a clear message that lived into our vision.

Here are 3 things you can do to receive feedback from people who have your best interest at heart.

1. Be clear on what your purpose, mission and goals are before asking for feedback. Communicate this to them so they know what you’re trying to accomplish.
2. Ask people who care about you and what you’re up to for feedback. They will beta test your idea or project and provide an honest evaluation that helps you better reach your goal.
3. Silence your ego and see the feedback as a gift that helps you better realize your goal.

Apply these steps to whatever you’re working on. Whether it’s yourself or a project, they work every time and produce greater results. Remember, feedback is a gift!

Keith