Keith JonesDecember 12, 2015

Every day I am reminded to have an open heart and grateful attitude. Most of the time this is easy to do because I’ve practiced it for years. Every once in a while that’s not the case. Those instances mostly occur when I receive feedback on something I have worked hard on and have expectations around.

I know from the personal development work I’ve done to not have attachment to the outcome or result. The key to embracing the journey is focusing on the present moment and working in a focused and diligent way. As long as I do this, my experience is always rich with happiness, learning or both. When I deviate from this mindset, I open the door for my ego to step in and I become defensive when I receive feedback.

Recently someone told me a project I was working on needed more work to effectively reach the intended audience. Surprisingly, I listened without interrupting. But because the ego can’t sit still, this didn’t last long. I became defensive. I made the person’s suggestions mean we were way off track and more work was required to get back on. This is not what they said. This rarely matters when you’re not attached to a certain outcome and want things to go a certain way.

After the conversation, I took some time to think. I replayed the conversation in my head. I chanted “Feedback is a gift. See the gift in it.” After a few minutes, this took hold and I saw the phone call in a very different way. I viewed it as an opportunity to be led not by ego or an attachment to outcome, but rather the project’s mission and purpose. Had my friend helped me see that I was veering off course and needed a bit of correction to effectively hit the intended mark? This is exactly what she was doing. With this acknowledgment, I put my ego in its place and began writing a clear message that lived into our vision.

Here are 3 things you can do to receive feedback from people who have your best interest at heart.

1. Be clear on what your purpose, mission and goals are before asking for feedback. Communicate this to them so they know what you’re trying to accomplish.
2. Ask people who care about you and what you’re up to for feedback. They will beta test your idea or project and provide an honest evaluation that helps you better reach your goal.
3. Silence your ego and see the feedback as a gift that helps you better realize your goal.

Apply these steps to whatever you’re working on. Whether it’s yourself or a project, they work every time and produce greater results. Remember, feedback is a gift!

Keith