Keith JonesFebruary 17, 2016

I recently listened to a Brian Johnson podcast in which he talked about how the way we talk affects our lives. While I had heard this before and believed it to be true, something was different about hearing it this time. For the rest of the day, I paid really close attention to the words that came out of my month and the things I said to myself silently. I was blown away by the amount of “victim speak” I did.

Victim speak includes words like should, can’t and don’t. It’s full of limiting thoughts and phrases. One example is, “I can’t lose weight because I am big-boned… it’s my genetics.” While it might be true that members in your family have struggled with weight loss, accepting that puts you at the mercy of family history. It turns you into a victim who doesn’t take responsibility for their eating habits or making smarter food choices in the face of genetic history. Another example is trying something new or an activity you haven’t done in years. Victim speak would be, “I can’t go skiing because I am too old”. Who says you are? Almost every time I hit the slopes, I see a 70 year old person getting off the chairlift and cruising down the mountain. The word “can’t” isn’t in their vocabulary.  A third example is, “I don’t have enough money coming in to pay my bills and enjoy life.” The victim tone of this statement implies you’re stuck with the hand life dealt you. Not true. There’s another conversation to be had that inspires action. The same person could say, “I can create abundance by acting on this business idea I have, making more sales calls or working harder to hit my company’s bonus goal so I am in a better place financially next week.”

Being a victim is not always something we are conscious of. It begins with our thoughts and what we say. It is often subtle. “I hate my job”. “My relationship is dead because my partner won’t change”. “My friends didn’t include me.” These statements are victim speak. Instead say, “I am going to get another job that fits my life plan and makes me happy”. “I will work on myself first to make my relationship amazing.” “I hope my friends have a good time today. I will do something that makes me happy and moves me closer to my goals.”

You’re in charge of your attitude and the thoughts you hold. Both shape your life. Knowing this can make you powerful. Give up victim speak and choose to be a creator and loving contributor.

Keith